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Getting back to normal, sorta by blonddiva Getting back to normal, sorta by blonddiva
Well after awhile of being gone for so long due to computer issues - I'm back! Laptop's all back and it's working marvelously, it was all silly really. =]

I've gotten a few things to upload, but not quite to be honest. Due to some inner demons and a bout of depression that has hit me for awhile (this has been on going) I just had this big art block come to me. At first, it would just start with me feeling hopeless and me giving up in the middle of what I was working on and just scrap it. So many stupid thoughts of like, "Why am I doing this, it's pointless I should just give up." Or, "I'm such a talent-less hack why even try." And there's always this constant thing like, "It doesn't matter how much I try I'll never be this good." And just really, really negative thoughts that I've dealt with for years now.

But I'm hoping to get this all resolved because I'll now be attending therapy with my mom (not with her, but she helped arrange it and all) as well as get some other little tests done. As my mom likes to say, "I got sick and tired of being sick and tired." And I am. Extremely. It's wearing down on me and I want to be able to enjoy the things I'm doing. I never usually give up this easy and I have to tell myself that all the negative thoughts are a lie.

I know that I've improved so much in many things besides art, but especially with my art. It's not exactly fast, small gradual steps but at least I'm getting better. I just gotta sort out all that crap and I'll be good to go. Aha.

So sorry for all the blabbing, but this explains why I haven't been on in awhile and what not.

But yeah, so this was a random drawing I drew awhile ago. During the beginning of the summer I believe. I dunno what really inspired me to. I had been watching a bunch of hair tutorials and stuff for high buns and 'cute' messy buns. This.... sorta came about. Also I just really wanted to draw someone from the back. So yeah... I hope you like.

It's not perfect, I know there's a lot of things I need to work on which I'm more than willing to do. Feedback is much appreciated. Feedback on how I can get better, what I should work on, etc. I really appreciate it.

Okay, I'm definitely done talking or typing now. Aha. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy and you'll see more from me now that I'm back on track. =]
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October 22, 2011
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